I'm down

It has been a hardtime for me for the last couple days. I felt so fragile, so empty, so sad.
I hardly can't tell anyone how I felt, even my bestfriend here or my parents. I don't know where to start. Just don't know...

Maybe by walking I could loose my distraction. But can not...
Until my big brother came to visit me, just to have a lunch with me. I think this was a best time for sharing with him & for start I try to said something but my mouth keep quite. Just listen what his story.

Until to day. I try to call my sis in law just to have talk with her. Maybe I can reveal what I feel. After 30minute talk, some words begin came from my mouth. I started to tell her what I felt. I just need she listed what I trying to said & maybe she has something to said to comfort me. Bla...bla... and tears start melt. I hope she did not know...

My battery drop after 1h20min talk. And I hang up my cellphone. My direct line start to rang, what coincident my bigbro call me to ask me to go weekend with him. But I was not in the mood of seeing him & sis in law. I'm afraid I cant control my emotion, not a great weekend we are going to have but a bounch of tears. No...No....

Dear God ease my tears away, give me strength, show the the way

I'm not strong enough

Aku mungkin ngga sekuat dibayangkan orang menjalani hidup ini.

Aku mungkin ngga sekuat dibayangkan temen2ku, orangtuaku atau mertuaku atau bahkan suamiku sendiri

Aku juga manusia biasa yang lemah....

Penuh air mata, kesedihan, merasa kesepian.

Betapapun kemarin malam langit sangat indah

Temaramnya gerhana bulan

Semua orang menantikan kejadian tersebut

Temaram pula hati ini, Air mata ini tak kunjung berhenti

Tak henti2 nya aku berdoa mohon kekuatan tapi tak tenang juga hati ini.

Semakin dalam aku bersujud semakin tak terbendung air mata ini

Semakin terasa kesedihan hati, kesendirian diri.

Ya Tuhan smoga ini untuk sementara, smoga ini ngga selamanya......

Missing You

2 weeks was to short for me,

14 days was to soon for me

I wish I could have some more time.

Just to have you by my side.

Is this the life that I really want??

have alife in saperate way??

Oh.. God please give me strength!!