15 Nov ini...

Hari ini hubby perhatian skali, pagi sms, siang sms sore sms sampe mlm apalagi. Biasanya siang & malem sms diakhiri dengan ngobrol di telp menjelang tidurku. Not heavy talk but just simple messages to show he care, or he's feeling gulty about his postpone coming home.

Ya maybe he is feel guilty with me, and he is trying to make it up with a sweet, nice tender words that he sent me today. "I knew you are being sorry with me beb, I'm sorry too about this......" huh

My dear papa di madiun sent me message "Ya sing sabar wong hanya nunggu satu minggu aja kok". Seandainya papaku liat kalender lagi klo tgl 15 ke 30 itu 2minggu bukan seminggu lagi!!! yang pasti aku ngga reply sms papa, karena jika aku reply pasti papa telp, gw nya malah mewek nanti... ngga ah gw ngga mau nagis, capek!!

Sabar......sabar.....sabar...... musti recharge kesabaran!

Kecewa...

Hari ini harusnya hubby berangkat dari Tangguh, menuju Jakarta.
Ya tgl 15 Nov ini, harusnya hubby udah cuti & selese in kerjaannya di Tangguh & udah mulai nemenin aku disini menjelang kelahiran si jabang bayi. Tapi tiba2 hubby telp klo his boss want him to postpone his dayleave until end of this month. Damm.... bener2 ga punya perasaan banget tuh orang. Secara administratif juga hubby sudah ada project baru yang musti dikerjakan. Bahwakan udah ditelp kapan bs langsung joint ke project yang baru....

Mau tau gmana rasanya ketika dengerin kabar yg ngga mengenakan ini?? My tears melt, sedih, kecewa dan kuesel nya minta ampun. Udah ngga enak ati bawaannya sepanjang hari,.... birthday without hubby is suck.

Semakin yakin aja hati ini klo PP not suit for him. Saatnya hubby find another opportunately.

A baby boy grew inside me

For the last couple days, I felt terrible. Wuih... berat banget badan ini rasanya, tidur pegel, bangun pegel duduk dikantor pegel dan jalan kaki pun juga pegel. Mungkin karena my body blooming so big, this pregnant I gain 13kgs (30week) maybe 15kgs now (32week).

Bukan berarti tidak berterima kasih atas kehamilan ini (God know I'm great full for this bless) tapi emang badan ini terasa semakin berat. Aku ga bisa duduk lama, berdiri lama, apalagi jika aku ngejatuhin sesuatu walah..... susah payah aku berusaha jongkok untuk memungut nya kembali. Hal yang paling aku benci sekarang adalah ketika aku mandi trus entah itu sikat gigi, spon ato benda2 yang aku mau pake trus jatuh wiuih sebel banget......

Salah satu yang bisa menghiburku adalah messages from my hubby to comfort me, he said "Sabar ya mommy, bentar lagi ayah pulang, dan ayah janji akan nemenin mommy terus"

Thank you my hubby for always comfort me. Luv u

Opportunity for My Hubby

Hari ini, dapet berita yang bagus dari suamiku, Hubby di tawarin kerja di BP. Alhamdullilah walopun baru ngobrol2 dengan orang BP yang ada di Tangguh, artinya ada pencerahan soal karier hubby. Berarti begitu hubby pulang nanti, ada beberapa planning yang musti dilakukan.
Selain prepare our baby born, he must find the best opportunately for him.
Well aku seneng banget hubby dapet beberapa tawaran pekerjaan, karena selama ini aku yakin my hubby pasti dapetin the best job for him, because he is young, smart, graduated from one of the best PTN in the country, eager to learn about new things. So sebenernya dia punya modal yang cukup untuk menatap masa depannya yang lebih cemerlang, tinggal tugasku untuk mendorong & meyakinkan hubby klo dia punya semua itu.

So no need to worry my hubby, I sure you can reach your dream. Be optimistic & work hard.
Me and our baby inside me always pray for you, for our future.

Alhamdullilah qJJi mendengarkan doa2ku.

A letter for my son

Dear My first son Alm. Mohammad Licra Susatyo,

I wrote this letter for you
I want you to know mommy always miss you.
I want you to know mommy always love you so much since you grew in my womb
I want you to know mommy always pray for your happiness for where ever you are now
And mommy sure you are in the best heaven that I would never been imagine before.

Although 29weeks 2days was to short for me to be with you
I was happy all that time to have you inside me.
Jan 13, 2007 maybe was the sorrow est day in my life
but thanks God I can thru all...

My son, please forgive if I was not being a good 'mom going to be' that time
forgive me if I ever let you down
Hope you know that I was trying to be the best for you.

Dear my little angel Licra, mommy expecting your brother inside me now
yes, mommy is pregnant 29weeks 3days today
he suppose to be your little brother for you, a friend to play with.

Please pray for your mommy that mommy will deliver your brother when he's ready to be healthy, safely and completely.
Please pray for your brother that he will become smart & sweet child. Love & caring to our family.
Please pray for mommy that I will be the best mom for your future brother & sister
Please pray for Ayah that he will always love, care & protect our family.

I Always Love & remember you

-Love
your Mommy
Ira Puspitasari Susatyo

Blessing in disguise di hari Lebaran

Well one of my blessing in disguise yang believe & aku nanti2 kan akhirnya datang juga di hari lebaran ini. Tak sia2 aku tiap malam bersujut memohon & aku percaya qJJi pasti mendengar.

Mertua datang ngga cuman merayakan lebaran bersama, tapi juga memberikan kado terindah Solusi Mengenai Rumah yang rencana akan kami beli.



Alhamdullilah satu persatu masalah sudah terpecahkan, kelahiran & rumah. Tinggal soal pekerjaan suamiku aja yang harus extra doa & usaha. Aku juga percaya pasti nanti akan ada pencerahan soal ini soon... Amien



Alhamdulillah, Terima Kasih ya qJJi atas Segala Karunia & Kenikmatan yang tak terhingga ini.

Cerita Lebaran

Selamat Idul Fitri Mohon Maaf Lahir Bathin.

Libur lebaran kali ini sebenernya lumayan lama, Seminggu lebih dari tgl 12 - 22 Oct 2007. Dan sayang sekali aku ngga bs pulang mudik, makan opor ama ketupat di rumah. Bukannya aku ngga mau pulang ato pun ngga ada ongkos. Soal ongkos alhamdulillah ada, kendaraan bs naek mobil bareng2 ntok & m'ita, klo dibilang ngga mau pulang, wiuh... telp papa mama buat ngucapain Minal Aidzin aja ampe ngga kuat mbrebes mili kangen pengen menikmati lebaran diMadiun juga.

3 Alasan kuat yang membuat aku ngga bs mudik lebaran:

1. Kondisi kehamilanku yang menginjak 29weeks [7bln] yang membuat aku ngga bs pulang, takut kena macet di jalan & membahayakan kehamilanku.
2. Pengalaman kegagalan kehamilan tahun kemaren, Alm Moh Licra Susatyo my first child born prematur.
3. Suamiku tercinta ngga bisa pulang dari tempat kerjanya buat berlebaran bareng aku. Knapa? Karena dia punya schedule kerja 3bln disite, 2mingg libur. Dimana? Di Seruni Papua IrianJaya. huih....... jauh tenan mau nekat plg susah transport nya.

Finally Ira cuman lebaran di Jakarta, mertua tercinta datang nemenin & kita lebaran di Tanah Kusir tempat Nenek & Keluarga suami. Kesannya : Rame memang, jadi lebih mengenal keluarga & kerabat suami. Tapi tetep aku kangen sama suasana Madiun... huu..huu.. feeling lonely without suami & family di Madiun.

A Prayer for Couples

By Marianne Williamson

Dear God,

Please make of our relationship a great and holy adventure.

May our joining be a sacred space.

May the two of us find rest here, a haven for our souls.

Remove from us any temptation to judge one another or to direct one another.

We surrender to You our conflicts and our burdens.

We know You are our Answer and our rock.

Help us to not forget.

Eating mindfully is a gift that we give ourselves
Bring us together in heart and mind as well as body.

Remove from us the temptation to criticize or be cruel.

May we not be tempted by fantasies and projections, but guide us in the ways of holiness.

Save us from darkness.

May this relationship be a burst of light.

May it be a fount of love and wisdom for us, for our family, for our community, for our world.

May this bond be a channel for Your love and healing, a vehicle of Your grace and power.

As lessons come and challenges grow,let us not be tempted to forsake each other.

Let us always remember that in each other we have the most beautiful woman, the most beautiful man, the strongest one, the sacred one in whose arms we are repaired.

May we remain young in this relationship. May we grow wise in this relationship.

Bring us what You desire for us, and show us how You would have us be.

Thank you, dear God,You who are the cement between us.

Thank You for this love.

Amen.

Blessing in Disguise

Did you ever heard this words... Blessing in Disguise?? I kept thinking about this words.
I just found this positive words and I try to understand the meaning.

Yes I do believe that there was always blessing in disguise and we just need to be patient & be sure until the time comes.

I'm down

It has been a hardtime for me for the last couple days. I felt so fragile, so empty, so sad.
I hardly can't tell anyone how I felt, even my bestfriend here or my parents. I don't know where to start. Just don't know...

Maybe by walking I could loose my distraction. But can not...
Until my big brother came to visit me, just to have a lunch with me. I think this was a best time for sharing with him & for start I try to said something but my mouth keep quite. Just listen what his story.

Until to day. I try to call my sis in law just to have talk with her. Maybe I can reveal what I feel. After 30minute talk, some words begin came from my mouth. I started to tell her what I felt. I just need she listed what I trying to said & maybe she has something to said to comfort me. Bla...bla... and tears start melt. I hope she did not know...

My battery drop after 1h20min talk. And I hang up my cellphone. My direct line start to rang, what coincident my bigbro call me to ask me to go weekend with him. But I was not in the mood of seeing him & sis in law. I'm afraid I cant control my emotion, not a great weekend we are going to have but a bounch of tears. No...No....

Dear God ease my tears away, give me strength, show the the way

I'm not strong enough

Aku mungkin ngga sekuat dibayangkan orang menjalani hidup ini.

Aku mungkin ngga sekuat dibayangkan temen2ku, orangtuaku atau mertuaku atau bahkan suamiku sendiri

Aku juga manusia biasa yang lemah....

Penuh air mata, kesedihan, merasa kesepian.

Betapapun kemarin malam langit sangat indah

Temaramnya gerhana bulan

Semua orang menantikan kejadian tersebut

Temaram pula hati ini, Air mata ini tak kunjung berhenti

Tak henti2 nya aku berdoa mohon kekuatan tapi tak tenang juga hati ini.

Semakin dalam aku bersujud semakin tak terbendung air mata ini

Semakin terasa kesedihan hati, kesendirian diri.

Ya Tuhan smoga ini untuk sementara, smoga ini ngga selamanya......

Missing You

2 weeks was to short for me,

14 days was to soon for me

I wish I could have some more time.

Just to have you by my side.

Is this the life that I really want??

have alife in saperate way??

Oh.. God please give me strength!!

Thanks to God, I've Met You

Dear God

Thank you for joy you give

Thank you for the tears you give

Thank you for the love you give

Thanks you for the bless you give

Thank you for the husband you sent

I Love you my gorgeous husband.....

Whispering from You

Audi Eko Susatyo
On 7/24/07, audi eko susatyo <audisusatyo@gmail.com> wrote:

You are what i want to feel

when i am not being touched

You are what i need to hear

when things start getting rough

You are what takes my breath away

when you read to me sweet tastes

You are what makes me smile

when i have a frown on my face

You are what makes me laugh

when I don't want to cry

You are what makes me want to live

instead of wanting to die

I'd give anything to meet you

I'd give anything to touch you

I'd give anything to hug you

And I can't wait to kiss you

Your Lovely Husband,

A Letter from My Soulmate

To My Wonderful Wife

(Ira Dwi Puspitasari)

How do I begin to tell you how lucky I am

to have you in my life?

I'll start by saying what a gift you gave me

the day you became my wife.

You're my best friend in the good times

and my rock in times of sorrow.

You're the reason for sweet yesterday

sand my promise for tomorrow.

I never thought I could feel this loved

until you became my wife.

You made this year and every year

the best one of my life.

Love always,

(Audi Eko Susatyo)